If

Firecrackers feels no celebration to me

They are instead anxiety bursts in my heart 

one after another endlessly...

If

Time is not moving for me

It's just the minute hand stuck clock 

moving back and forth back and forth at a spot of 18.05pm endlessly...

If

Thoughts are no thoughts for me 

But my dreams and my memories playing on loop endlessly...

If

Night is no sleep for me

But me endlessly trying to stop my bad thoughts 

till there is some noice around me again...

If

A day is no beginning for me 

But me endlessly trying to escape old & new failures...

If

Breathing is no breath for me

But me endlessly trying to hold on to hope...

If....